do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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