I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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