Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
