I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
