Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
