He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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