I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
