a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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