You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
