U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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