the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
