she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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