just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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