I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
