Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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