Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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