they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
