So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
