I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
