I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
