and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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