mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
we're chasing vodka with high fives
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
My bed smells like the plague
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
