Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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