used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
