Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
