I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
