Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
This girl is more easily done than said...
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
