summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
