With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
