ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
