In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
