i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Pooping to opera.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
