Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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