That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
