You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Success! We fucked roommates!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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