She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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