Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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