By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
