Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I would ride that face into the sunset
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize