I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Blood and glitter go together right?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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