rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
