I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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