Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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