I hate all girls vehemently.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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