just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize