you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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