Got a toothbrush?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You're earring is so big in my mouth
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
