Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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