It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Oh god it's open bar.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
