what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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