our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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