My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
