OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
