My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
