I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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