Jerry, you need to find god
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
