everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize