According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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